Tuesday, May 11, 2010

2-Joe Weekend: May 8 and 9, Joes 11 and 12

There's no question I've been slacking on finding Joes. It's like losing weight: I'm all motivated at first, and the pounds fall off. Then it becomes too much of a chore to keep measuring and weighing and adding up the calories. Next thing I know, some other shiny object is much more interesting and takes a higher priority. So it goes with the Joes.

I've had some interaction with a guy on Biker or Not who's from one of the southwestern areas of Denver. After a couple of messages, something must have been mentioned about education or me being a writer, because Joe11 said it was nice to finally meet someone literate on the site. We messaged a few times, the correspondence dropped off, and then when I thought about working near Denver last weekend, I sent him a message to see if he'd like to meet.

He knew about the 50 First Dates project. I could be wrong, but I felt like he'd read the entries and acted accordingly. I appreciated that he said where he'd like to go, but knowing that he might have done that only because he read my blog made me wonder if that's what he normally would have done. However, communication in a relationship is vital, and if one person has stated that something is important to them, and the other person acts on that, it's good.

Work was challenging, and I had to wait until about 4:00 to let Joe11 know when I'd be ready to go. I appreciate the flexibility. I'd messaged him and asked him to meet me in the parking lot next to the lot I was teaching in, which would have the cars of the students in it. I was glad that I got done a few minutes earlier than I expected so I could go into the building and freshen up a little and put on a clean shirt (lesson learned from Joe6). I realized that all the cars in the parking lot would be gone at that point, and I thought about texting Joe11 and telling him to keep following the road down to the back of the building. As soon as I exited the building, I heard a Harley approaching, and sure enough, he'd figured it out - or he'd just kept going because he was trying to find the parking lot with the cars in it. Either way, he was there.

I was a little self-conscious about my bike because it was dirty. I've had a hard time keeping it clean with all this stupid wind. If I wet my bike down in my yard, it gets covered with dirt immediately, making the bike dirtier than it was when I started. Because I have a tendency to stay busy right up until the time I need to change activities, I haven't washed it recently. I do this with quilting too. I cut and sew right up until the time I'm ready to drop at night, and I end up with fabric everywhere. A sewing room would be nice, but that's another story.

I glanced at Joe11's bike and identified it as an Electra Glide Standard based on the non-chrome rocker box covers. Upon closer inspection, I saw that he had really nice jugs. Thinking about my friend Josh and his recent rebuild that included powder coated heads and cylinders with the fins cut to sparkle, I thought Joe11 had done that. I asked, and he said that was stock. I quickly noticed that his valve covers were chrome, but they were covered up with some road grime. I suddenly felt better about my less-than-shiny motorcycle.

We went to an Italian restaurant on Sheridan, down around 75th Street. It was a nice place, and we shared a white pizza. Yum. The conversation flowed easily, and I enjoyed myself. After dinner, Joe11 escorted me back to the north side, even though he was heading back south. I wouldn't have thought less of him had he headed home from dinner. It was a very nice touch that he rode back with me.

I enjoyed the date and think Joe11 is a good guy, but I have to say there wasn't a huge attraction. He must have felt the same way, since once I got home and went back on Biker or Not, I noticed we weren't friends anymore. LOL I'm sorry he felt the need to "unfriend" me. It makes me wonder if I was that awful to be around that he wanted to make sure there was no more contact, or if once that possible love interest is crossed off the list, there's no reason to remain friends. Either way, I'm fine with it.

Joe11 brings up an issue I've faced with dating and love for a long time. I was raised in an affluent community and went to private schools for a while. Because of all kinds of drama and other complications, I wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle and went to the dark side. I turned against my family's values, including education. Eventually, after living through some crazy shit with both of my former Panhead-riding husbands, I decided that sobriety and education weren't necessarily bad things. I quit drinking, started hanging out with more sane people, and earned both Bachelor's and Master's degrees. Now I'm stranded in no-man's land. I'm a highly educated, sober Christian with a wild side, and I'm not enamored with the mild-mannered. Yeah, I'm still into the bad boys, but intelligent (no college required), funny, and thoughtful bad boys. Argh!!! It's never easy.

As for Joe12... the encounter was much shorter. Another Biker or Not member, I mentioned I'd be in the Denver area for the weekend and suggested we meet for a cup of coffee or something after work on Sunday. I had to run up north to meet with someone on ABATE issues, so I didn't want to take too much time on this one. I suppose I didn't have high expectations to begin with, and I feel a little guilty that I saw this as simply crossing another Joe off the list. However, I have been surprised in the past, so there was always that possibility.

Again, it was difficult to say when I'd be done with work. I was expecting 5:30. Joe12 and I texted and I eventually called him when I was on a break. He was nearing my location and said he'd call when he got there. I was able to take the call at that time, but I wasn't completely through with work. Because my presence wasn't required for a few minutes, I told him I'd meet him out front, but that I wouldn't be able to stay long. It was actually a good setup, as we could meet and chat for a bit and then either give the "Hey, it was nice meeting you. I'll see you around some time," speech or make plans for a little later in the afternoon. It was the former.

Because the building was locked up in a lot of areas, I didn't make it out the exit I expected. I walked toward him from a distance and saw that he'd decided to park his bike on the pristine white sidewalk in front of the library. As I approached, he was looking at his bike, polishing a spot, then stepping back to look for more specks of dirt. This happened a few times. I found the whole thing to be a joke considering his Shovelhead was leaking on the sidewalk. Yep, that's right. Shovelhead. Granted it was a generator Shovelhead, one of those treasured years between '66 and '69, but it was still a Shovelhead leaking on the sidewalk of the place where I work.

Even though I'm not into white fringed seats, I'll concede that it's definitely a bike worth being proud of. However, I felt it was a total lack of respect and an overload of ego that made him think it was OK to park the bike on the sidewalk directly in front of the library at the school where I work. In fact, I'll never make the mistake of inviting someone to meet me there again. We often have bikers rolling up to take a look at what we're doing, and I didn't feel that meeting someone who rolled up would be much different. If you want to park on the sidewalk in front of a bar or a store or some place that's totally unrelated to me, I don't give a rat's ass. I'll park there too. But if you can't show me enough respect to use the parking lot where I work, then I don't care who you are, I'm done.

At any rate, I imagine my attitude of "who the f&ck do you think you are" probably came through in some way or another, the conversation was short, and no plans were made for later in the day.

Lessons learned:

1. If I'm going to use the convenience of working in Denver on the weekends to meet people, I need to set a time that I'll definitely be done by, and meet the guy somewhere else. If 6:30 or so isn't going to work for either of us, then it won't happen that weekend.

2. While a nice clean shirt in the saddlebag was a good call, I could have done without the cute shoes. Unless I'm going to be somewhere for a few hours, there's no reason I'd pull off my boots and socks to put on the open-toes heels. An extra thong per day would have been a far better use of saddlebag space.


Anonymous said...

I just have to say that I love the self discovery going on here girl! Keep it up!!

Patty said...

I like the 'stuck between two worlds' bit. Kinda feel the same myself sometimes.

Anonymous said...

been away for a bit, all caught up on my reading, and i am loving these.....thanks

Anonymous said...

Not very observant...It's an Electra Glide Ultra Classic. I didn't drop you from my friends list...you were never on it ...I believe we communicated but never did the friends link...not a biggie. Sounds like you've had some great adventures since then.
Joe 11